All I Want Is You
by Ily20
Summary: "All the promises we made, from the cradle to the grave, when all I want is you." Asami and Akihito have a fight, after some misunderstandings Asami gets hurt in an accident. He understands what is the most important when he wakes up.(Sorry for the bad summary, but it's not a death fanfic.)


I fell in love with a song a few months ago; it's called **"All I Want Is You"** from U2. I loved it so so much, that I thought 'I need to write about this', and if it might have not been similar to the song I'm still happy with how everything turned. I wrote this about like two months ago so I hope you guys enjoy it because I sure have my happy/sad time writing it!

Thank you **Jadedslave**! My talented and very kind beta helped me with this one, I asked for help and she said yes with no doubt! I'm so happy to have someone helping me with these stories, thank you!

 **Warning:** It might break your heart for a few seconds. (Jaded cried and I cried, we all cried). It's a little out of characters by the way, so it might have gotten out of hand.

* * *

 **All I Want Is You**

 _Twelve hours ago…_

"We must call him," said Suoh while waiting outside of the surgery room. His back is resting against the wall and his eyes are fixed on the white floor, his face is raw with emotions and no one else beyond his friend can see it. It feels as if the events of the last hours were part of a strange illusion, or in fact, a nightmare.

"I know," said Kirishima taking off his glasses, he pinches his nose and lets out a sigh. He takes a deep breath and reaches for his cell phone inside of his suit jacket. He stares at the phone, for the first time in many years he is afraid on making a call. One simple call that he knows he will regret. He searches for the contact and makes the call.

"Hello Glasses," Akihito's cheery voice answers, he tries to not choke on the words that are about to come out of his mouth. He gulps and takes a deep breath, he frowns at the unfamiliarity of emotions towards the other person through the line.

"Akihito-san" says Kirishima, using the first name of the blonde with a taste of unfamiliarity.

"What's wrong?" the cheery voice is no longer there, instead it's serious and wary.

"Asami-sama was injured," he exhales silently; "he is inside the surgery room."

"S-Surgery?," Akihito's voice trembles in fear, "which hospital?"

"NCGM central hospital," he hears a door slamming shut and the sound of cars in the street. He listens to the blonde calling for a taxi with his voice loud in fear.

"What kind of surgery is it?" he asks with heavy pants, Kirishima listens to Akihito barking the direction to the taxi driver.

"Open heart surgery" he says and hears Akihito's voice tremble, he hears a sob and the call ends. Kirishima gulps and looks at the screen of the phone, he places it beside him on the chair and cleans his glasses.

"I'll let the people in the reception know that he is coming," Suoh turns and walks to the elevator.

After long minutes of dead silence in the hallway, the guards hear rushed steps coming closer. Suoh and Kirishima stand up to look at the blonde running and stopping in front of them, he places his hands on his thighs and takes a deep breath with his head down. He trembles and he smiles sadly. He lifts up his head and looks at the two friends of Asami, he takes a deep breath and tries to still his beating heart without crying.

"How is he?" he asks with a determined gaze at the two guards. They hesitate a little but Akihito couldn't bear the mere seconds of silence. "I asked how he is, answer me!" He looks at Kirishima and Suoh, they flinch at the deep angry voice mixed with fear, a very manly voice for someone that holds their boss's heart. Suoh intends to speak but Kirishima stops him, it was probable the best since he was the one who received all the diagnostic with Asami in a comatose state.

"It was a bullet straight to the heart; none of us could stop it." It seemed like Kirishima was talking to himself more than to the young man. "It didn't reach his heart completely, but it was very close to it."

"How did it happen?" he asks looking at Suoh, who kept a straight face but his eyes were different. The blonde took a deep breath, not even Asami gave him this sense of feeling useful but the eyes of his boss's lover was totally different. He gulped and gave the report.

"We were landing at the airport, someone got closer, he was supposed to be part of the staff of the airport, a man that is. He held a gun and was very close to the boss, he shot and none of us noticed it until we heard the pull of the trigger. He shot him from behind. Asami-sama entered the surgery room around one hour ago, it might take six hours or more for them to finish." Suoh said and noticed how Akihito's eyes grew comically large at the news; he couldn't hide the fear or the pain.

He turned and kicked the wall with his feet, he slouched on his knees and he started crying. It wasn't a loud sobbing but it was enough to make the guards feel remorse and guilt for the failure.

The two men stared at the door in the end of the hallway, they looked surprised at it. The comfort of a small hand on their shoulders and Akihito's eyes giving them hope. The young man squeezed their shoulders and looked at them, first to Suoh who looked at him with surprise and Kirishima who only remained serious and strangely comforted by the situation. "He is strong" said Akihito and smiled weakly at them, the silent tears stopped for a small second before he turned and walked to a near chair.

Kirishima couldn't comprehend for a second, how someone that can be at the verge of an emotional storm could act so calm and composed for a small moment. Suoh nodded and bowed slightly at the young man sitting in the chair, Kirishima did the same in a signal of respect.

Akihito and the two guards didn't move from their spots in the waiting room, none of them were brave enough to even say a single word about what might happen. Kirishima and Suoh said that they were at fault, and technically it might be true but Akihito couldn't even find the strength to get mad at them. They felt just like him, afraid for the next six hours.

The hours passed and it felt like an eternity, Akihito placed his head in his hands while he hid his face with his fingers. He hasn't left the waiting room for what felt like an eternity, minutes seemed to pass slower and his mind couldn't rest without thinking of the worst. He got up from his chair and walked around for a while, not thinking about leaving the waiting room. He sat again and sighing he closed his eyes.

" _What if he doesn't wake up?"_ he thought, _"what if the last time we saw each other was indeed the last time?", "what am I going to do?"_ his tears fell wetting the jeans that covered his legs.

" _Please God; please don't let him disappear, please. He is… He is all I have. Please, why wasn't_ _it_ _me?"_

The door of the room opened and the doctor noticed the three men waiting outside, they stood up and walked to where he was. After seven hours of surgery the tired faces of the best surgeons in Tokyo couldn't deny that it wasn't exhausting , however, seeing the two men with their business masks slightly off and a young man whose emotions were strongly showing on his face, he couldn't be more satisfied with his work.

"How is he?" asked Suoh in a restrained voice.

"His blood pressure rose during the operation, it was complicating to stabilize it," Akihito took a deep breath trying to hold in the fear that was eating him up on the inside, "but he is very strong. The bullet didn't pass through the heart; he is a very lucky man. I suppose that he moved before the man who shot him could aim properly, he might have defended himself by moving or he moved for his own the gun before they pulled the trigger. He should wake up in a few hours, after seeing how he is progressing he will be able to return to his home in a couple of days."

"Can we see him?" asked Akihito with relief in his eyes and his voice.

"We need to move him to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) so we can monitor his vital signs and his wounds, his pain will be severe if we don't keep an eye on him properly." He said and signaled for the group of nurses that walked inside.

Akihito's heart almost stopped, or maybe it did for a couple of seconds at seeing his lover with that many tubes inside him. He suppressed a gasp at seeing him. They moved him with infinite care, but Akihito felt as if everything they did was wrong when it fact it wasn't. He couldn't stand it; he tried to not get in the way because he was almost in a shock at seeing Asami in that state. He wanted to say that no one needed to touch him, that Asami is his. No one can see him in that state but him; no one can touch him but him. He shook his head when he noticed how his selfish thoughts were going to take a hold of his body. He felt a hand resting on his shoulder and noticed Kirishima looking at him with a frown on his face and just like always, a very professional façade in place.

He didn't cry at seeing him, he took a deep breath and followed the nurses that were pushing the gurney where Asami was being transported to. The nurses placed him on the expertly made bed; all the appropriate machines were already in place. It was a private room that belonged to Asami and Akihito felt grateful that Asami's money was put to good use when his lover thought about spending it this way. They gave some instructions to Kirishima and left.

"We will be outside if you need anything Takaba-san," Suoh said and Kirishima left the room with the beeping machines and a silent Akihito.

Akihito grabbed a soft chair and put it beside Asami's bed. He looked at him from head to toe; his body was cleaned but not completely. Akihito let out the sigh he was holding and sat on the chair, he didn't want to touch him but he couldn't help grabbing the hand of his love. The hand had a needle attached, he tried not to move it but he kissed the fingers that he loved so much. He breathed while trembling with a strong feeling of relief, he smiled.

"I should have been suspicious when you told me that it was a business trip outside of Tokyo, and left me with at least five men to guard me." His sad smile was covered in tears, his head resting on the mattress while stroking Asami's fingers.

"You are such a liar," he sniffed, "you told me before that you couldn't take care of yourself if I was in your way, what a lie that I naively believed." He wiped the tears from his face.

"And still, I love you so much," he whispered between sobs.

* * *

"Why isn't he waking up?" he looks at Asami and not at the doctor. It's been three days. "He should have been awake a few hours after the surgery, why isn't he?" Akihito hasn't left the hospital and strokes the fingers of his partner, pleading in silence.

"His vitals are good and stable Takaba-san," the doctor looks at the patient. "He is just taking his time resting apparently; there isn't anything wrong with his body. Some patients take their own time in recovering."

"Has this ever happened before?," he asks but he hopes it was more of a statement than anything else.

"Yes it has but, most of them woke up in two days. He is out of danger Takaba-san, it's just a matter of patience."

"Thank you," Akihito doesn't move his gaze from his lover and instead tries to smile at him. The door clicks closed

"Hey," Akihito whispers beside Asami's ear. "I want you to wake up, you hear me? I can't leave this room and I really want to see those movies you hate so much. Maybe we'll watch one that you like, those actions movies that you love to criticize so much." He kisses the cheek of his lover and moves a strand of hair from his face.

"I'll make the best Japanese dinner that you craved since last month, I guess we shouldn't have fought that much. It was your fault, I thought you didn't care." He rubs a warm wet cloth over his arms carefully. "You ignored me even if I tried to spoil you but, I guess you knew what you were doing." He cleanses the arms and the hands with extreme care while talking in a soft voice.

"What was what you said?," he wonders with a smile and kisses the other cheek of Asami.

"I'll go on this trip because I need to finish some business; I won't be back for a while." He says in the best Asami's voice he could muster, he laughs and sees that Asami isn't laughing. "I should have been suspicious when you told me that. When I tried to argue you brushed me off telling me that you were tired but, you stared at me with hurt in your eyes." He gulps and brushes his knuckles with the strong jaw. "Why did you act like that? You tried to give me presents and promises from one day to another, I didn't need them. And then you act as if I'm the biggest eyesore on the whole planet."

"You were in the worst mood; you didn't even talk to me. You barely called me and ignored me. When I wanted an explanation you just told me you were leaving for a trip, so selfish. I didn't know what you were thinking and here we are, waiting for you to wake up. Why are you taking so much time?" He placed a soft kiss on the lips of the sleeping man.

"I need you here, I want you to explain what were you thinking, and why did you lie. But, above all, I really want to tell you that I love you." He placed his head on the mattress and closed his eyes.

* * *

"Why are you ignoring me?" he asked looking at Asami unbuttoning his cufflinks. Asami didn't look at him and only stared at the view outside their bedroom window. The balcony was ideal to clear his mind, he walked outside trying to put some distance with the other man. He heard Akihito walking and he tensed for what was to come.

"Hey," Akihito turned him but Asami merely looked at him.

"Stop it," said Asami grabbing the wrist of the blonde, "don't bother me."

"Bother you? What exactly have I done to you?" he follows him outside to stand in the balcony.

"What have you done you say? I don't know how stupid you can be that you can't even notice it yourself, do you want me to point it out to you?" He places his hand inside of his black slacks and reaches for the box of cigarettes.

"What's wrong with you?" he asks with a hurt tone of voice, Asami never speaks to him in that tone and never calls him stupid in the middle of a fight. It all felt so strange these days, and Asami changed each day more and more.

"Leave me alone," he says and Akihito suppresses the angry remarks he would like to say.

"You know what, you are not even here anymore, it was just like at the beginning. I never see your face that much and when I do, you are always looking at me with that insecurity of yours that you and I know has been there since we started living together. It pisses me off that you can't even tell me what's going on with you or your work, I never asked but now you only get angry with me." Akihito looks at Asami's back who is standing with his arms crossed on his chest. He looks at him waiting for an answer but nothing comes from his lover's mouth.

"You are such a kid," he mutters but Akihito hears it perfectly. "You don't understand anything."

"You should have chosen another man to be with if you don't want to be with me, you should have never bothered with me if you were going to be like this." Asami heard Akihito's voice broke with each word that came from his mouth. He knew he was being harsh but he was blinded with jealousy and anger, still, a part inside of him hates to hurt Akihito.

He immediately regrets his words and turns to see the blonde crying; he grabs the cigarette and put it in the ashtray. He walks to where Akihito is looking at the cold floor of the balcony and shivers because of the weather, he grabs the hand of Akihito and kisses it. He says that he is sorry and that he needs to clear his head, he apologizes again and smiles when Akihito nods at him with understanding.

That is what should have happened.

But he watches from one corner, seeing how he still stares at the view outside with his arms crossed on his chest. Akihito looks at him with hurt and walks inside of the apartment. He sobs and cries and passes without looking at their bed where they sleep together each night, he follows the blonde looking hurt while being filled with anger at himself. He sees the door of Akihito's old bedroom and hears the silent sobs from the blonde.

"What did I do?" he asks and in a blink of an eye everything is dizzy.

He tries to knock on the door in his state of dizziness but he can't. Suddenly, everything fades. He is in a dark room with only one door in front of him; he is only wearing his white shirt and his black slacks, confused at why he is in this dark room without anything other than his clothes. The door opens and he enters.

"The living room?" he asks when he walks through the door to look at Akihito inside of the living room and he is apparently on his couch looking at the night view with a glass of liquor in his hand.

He is now staring from the door and looks at his living room; his old self isn't looking at the blonde that is beside him with a big luggage.

"I'm leaving," Akihito says with emptiness in his eyes and in his voice. Asami is only looking outside without turning to look at him, "aren't you going to stop me?" he asks seriously.

"Leave the keys on the coffee table."

"You know, for someone who claimed to protect me and owe me with your life, you are the worst liar I have ever met. I hope you find happiness Ryuichi." He said while grabbing his luggage and walking to the front door, he placed the keys on the coffee table and shut the door.

He sees how he is crying softly in the darkness; everything was so dark without the lights on. His light was Akihito; his only light in this world isn't here anymore. He can't even understand how this all seems so real, how everything is hurting him even if it's not actually him who is suffering.

"Akihito…" he says without believing what his eyes are seeing, he can see himself suffering but he can't bear the sight of his old self letting the only good thing that has ever happened to him go. "Hey don't stay there" he says to his old self but he doesn't hear him. "Move. He is leaving." He talks louder but his old self just cries silently while drinking from the glass in his hand, there are silent tears on his cheeks while he drinks in the dark.

"Akihito!" he yells and tries to run for the front door of his apartment but it doesn't open. He bangs on it and tries to open it with anything he can but it doesn't open. He turns and his old self is still in the same position, broken.

He walks to grab the keys and everything fades again.

He is again in the same old dark room but this time, there is another door with a different appearance from the last one. He hesitantly opens it and walks through it, he sees his old self looking at the phone of Akihito. He remembers this scenery; he clearly remembers that it was not so long ago. The other ones he has never seen or remembered what they were but they felt so real.

27/03/2018

13: 50- Mother: "Akihito, it's been a few days since I have been trying to arrange this meeting. Please listen to me and accept this, I know you want it. You always wished to have a family and marry someone, that someone is single now. I know it didn't work before but now she told me she misses you."

14:20-"It didn't work for a reason Mother, I'm not going to meet her."

14:25-Mother: "You are throwing away someone that loves you for your selfishness? You can't even reject her properly?"

14:27-"I don't need to meet her to tell her something like this, please don't insist."

14:29- Mother: "You were always in love with her."

14:31-"I don't even know who you are talking to; I've had quite a number of girlfriends." He sees a picture of a beautiful woman with black hair and green eyes; she looks like a teacher in a kindergarten. She is slender and is holding a box of juice and a crying kid on her arm.

14:40-"Send her these directions."

14:42- Mother: "I knew you still care for her"

28/03/2018

11:30- Mother: "How did it go?"

11:35- "She is just like I remembered, still beautiful."

11:37- Mother: "Will you meet her again?"

11:38- "Yes, it feels like going back home for me."

11:40- Mother: "I want you to see you happy Akihito, she was meant for you."

His old self is looking angry at the texts in Akihito's phone, who is sleeping exhausted beside him with a satisfied face. He is covered in kiss marks with his lips bitten from their previous love making. He sits and stands up from the bed, in anger and jealousy, betrayed by the person who he cares the most. Who he loves the most, but everything might be a misunderstanding. He wakes up Akihito and starts to touch him without minding the half-hearted angry remarks of his lover. He makes love at him with possessiveness and a little rougher than intended, but Akihito enjoys it nonetheless.

He sees the scene unfolding and knows what is going to happen. He tries to touch the phone again and the scenery changes in a blink of an eye, and he sees Kirishima in his office giving him a manila folder. His old self opens it and tries to cover the hurt from his face, his anger however, his faithful friend and secretary notices it.

There are photos of Akihito with another woman, the same one from the pictures in the phone that his mother sent. There are five pictures; they are in a park talking with a smile on their faces. The other one is a picture of them having lunch, the other one is the woman leaning against his ear and whispering at him while he blushes, and the last one is him giving a kiss on her cheek while she blushes faintly.

His old self dismisses his secretary and guards the photos in one of the cases he keeps closer to his desk. Looking nothing but enraged and betrayed by what he saw. He was watching from beside his old self, remembering that scene from a few weeks, or days, he can't remember.

He somehow tries to reach for those photos again but when he tries to touch them everything fades, he is back in the same dark room.

"What the hell is this," he asks when he notices another door in front of him, different from the last ones. He opens it but a voice stops him from doing so.

"Do you really want to see what's in there?" it's a soft voice that reminds him of someone in his adolescence.

"Who are you?" he asks seeing a young man looking at him with understanding. "What you might see there isn't comfortable."

"This is my future," says Asami with his hand in the doorknob. The young man with dark hair and hazel eyes nods. "I don't want you to go there."

"That is my decision."

"I know but, I don't want you to. I might not exist." Asami looks at him in confusion, _"exist? He looks a lot like Akihito but, with dark hair"._

"Did you really loved him?" asks the young man.

"Why should I tell you?" the young man snorts.

"So that's why he left you, he told me that you were stubborn." He smiles and walks to where Asami is.

"I know you do love him, I just wanted to see if it was true what he said about you. You are a bastard."

"Hey-" Asami started but the young man opened the door and pushed Asami in, but not without telling him something in his ear. "Listen to him."

He finds himself in a small house, he is in the front of the house, it's covered in different portraits. They all have a small signature and he recognizes it, its Akihito's. He walks further, afraid of what he knows might be inside.

"Mother! Father just laughed at me again!" a small boy runs to the kitchen. He looks at the boy and sees the same black hair with hazel eyes. _"Mother?"_ He enters the living room and looks at the woman chopping vegetables on the table. She smiles when she sees her young son covered in dust.

"You were in your father's office weren't you?" She smiled while stroking the dark hair of the boy.

"He purposely puffed dust at me!" He crosses his arm and makes a cute pout; he recognizes that same pout from Akihito.

"Well you know how he is honey, he doesn't like when someone else touches his treasures."

"There is no treasure there mommy, just an old camera! It's very small and there are only pictures of a beach there. There are more beautiful cameras in your bedroom!" he says but his mother's smile doesn't reach her eyes.

"Honey could you go to my bedroom and bring me my purse? I forgot that I had some spices inside the bag." She kisses the cheek of the boy. He smiles and kisses her back while running to the bedroom. Asami sees her sighing tiredly. She rubs her small belly with tenderness and smiles sadly. _"So he becomes a father twice…"_

He walks out of the kitchen and goes to the other side of the house, there is a nice and comfortable living room with a grey carpet, many pictures hanging on the wall with pictures of their son and themselves.

He gulps and looks at the picture of Akihito getting married with the same girl in his texts, she is happy and so is Akihito. There is another of her writing on her laptop and Akihito kissing the top of her head. The other one is one of them walking together with their hands together, a young boy in the middle with his arms up while grabbing the hands of his parents. Asami smiles and he doesn't realize that he is trembling slightly with the wave of emotions. Pride, hurt, happiness and sadness.

" _This is how your life would be… without me"_ he thoughts for a second and it doesn't help to calm his heart, his stomach felt strange with the sudden pain he feels at thinking those words.

He hears a loud noise in the house and walks to where he heard it, his mind thinking about what he is witnessing. He walks the small hallway with pictures of a mountain and a park; he reaches the bedroom where the kid is looking for his mother's purse. He intends to walk in but a familiar voice stops him.

"Ryoichi" he says with his jeans and a dark green turtle neck shirt. "What are you doing there?" he asks to the boy who ignores him.

Asami is shocked at seeing a very mature Akihito standing in the door frame beside him, his hair slightly shorter and his body is just a little bulkier than he remembers. There are some small changes in his face that show his maturity and manly beauty. Asami furrow his brows looking at the handsome man beside him, he wants to touch him but is afraid of him disappearing.

" _So this is how you look when you are older… And you are still beautiful."_

"Hey look at me" he says and sees the boy with tears in his eyes. "Why are you crying?".

"Y-You always get angry b-because I enter your of-office." The boy sniffs but with his chin up. The boy around eight years old is crying and Akihito crouches to eye level with him.

"I'm sorry my kitten," he says and Asami gulps at the nickname. _"Kitten?"_

"I've told you many times that you can't enter my office. There are strong chemicals there." Akihito kisses the top of his head and wipes the tears from his cheeks.

"I'm a strong boy, I can take care of myself." He takes his dads hand and places it down. "I-I want to see your treasures."

"I know you do my kitten, but you are very stubborn. My treasures are yours but I need to clean them first, I show them to you after dinner. You have already seen them many times."

They talk a little more and the young kid seems to like the small talk with his father, he smiles and Asami closes his eyes. The view is beautiful but it's painful, so painful that he feels his eyes getting wet again. _"You look so happy here… without me."_

He tries to touch the kid and notices the same adoration in his stare that Akihito has, he can't bear to see it anymore and reaches to touch the kid. Nothing happens. He isn't disappearing and can't do anything, he tries again to touch the kid but not Akihito, and in anger he tries to touch the bed but nothing happens. "I can't see this anymore" he says with hurt in his voice.

The young kid walks back to the kitchen with a happy smile and he notices Akihito looking slightly angry. Akihito walks back with rushed steps into a small room; Asami follows after him curiously. Akihito closes the door and Asami can't go in. He tries the doorknob but it doesn't open. Akihito locks it.

Everything fades then he finds himself with Akihito in the same dark room.

Akihito pushes a small button and the light turns on, a small room covered in many pictures of Akihito and his friends. There are some of them with his mother and father. Asami looks around the room and notices that many of the pictures he has seen already, there was one of them that was taken from his office. The streets of Shinjuku and many others that resembled him, but he was nowhere to be seen.

Akihito sits in the only chair there and sighs, he reaches for a key that is in the middle of a book.

Asami suppresses a gasp when he sees the book, is the same one he reads before going to sleep when Akihito is late from a job. There is a small secret compartment in that same book and he retrieves the small key.

Akihito grabs it and opens the safe under the desk; he reaches and opens a big metal box about the length of a laptop. He opens it with the same key and stops.

Asami wonders what made Akihito stop but there are tears on his face, the beautiful hazel eyes of the man are wetting his lap and Asami can't seem to think properly. He is beside the blonde and looks at the full box. Asami, for the first time in a long time, he places a hand on his mouth and stares in shock at the things in there.

There is a bunch of photos of him, of them and the places they traveled to. Photos of the beach in Bali, photos of different parts of the penthouse, photos of their love making, the time they celebrated his birthday and when he took care of his friend's baby. Akihito sobbed softly and grabs the camera that Asami remembers giving to him in Bali; he holds it closer to his chest and starts crying.

"Asami… Asami…" he says desperately while his tears fall on his lap and some of them wetting the photos inside of the box. Akihito moves a little and document falls from the box, Asami crouches but doesn't touch it but sees it all clearly. He is shocked to see the documents, but the pained face of his lover is wet in tears. A painful sob echoes in the small bedroom and the blonde can't even stop at seeing that photo of them in the hotel room on the beach.

" _Asami Ryuichi's gets married with the successful Takeda Saori…"_

" _Asami Ryuichi's first son..."_

" _Asami Ryuichi's divorce..."_

" _Club Sion is closed because of bankrupt…"_

" _Asami Ryuichi's missing..."_

" _Asami Ryuichi dies in an accident..."_

Asami stands there seeing the different headlines on the newspapers. A sob pulls him to the reality when he sees Akihito clenching his hand to his chest, there's a heavy pain in his chest and Asami starts to panic.

"Akihito! Akihito!" he yells but Akihito only keeps crying.

"Why… Why didn't you find happiness… Why did you leave so soon..." Akihito keeps crying this time louder. Asami crouches to eye level with him and he doesn't notice that he is crying with the same painful heaviness in his chest.

"Akihito please listen to me…" he says but it's futile, he isn't heard and Akihito only keeps crying.

"My love… What did I do to you…" He says closing his eyes and touching the strong pain in his chest. He takes a deep breath and Akihito's sobs stops. He faints and his body falls from the chair. Asami starts to tremble in panic at the sight of Akihito fainting and he can't seem to stop his own tears, he reaches for the door to open it and try to call for help but the door doesn't budge. He curses and goes back to where the blonde is; he is shaking and tries to call to him.

"My Akihito, I don't care what happens to me but please just wake up." He says through his own tears and almost chokes on every word, he can't stop trembling and the sight of his lover not breathing anymore is too painful. He curses, and yells, calling for help, to someone to lessen his pain. "I love you so much, I just can't leave you like this."

To wake him up from this nightmare.

" _I want you to wake up, you hear me? I can't leave this room and I really want to see those movies you hate so much. Maybe we'll_ _watch_ _one that you like, those actions movies that you love to criticize so much."_

He listens to that voice he craves to hear, he stops yelling to Akihito to wake up and just listens.

" _I'll make the best Japanese dinner that you craved since last month, I guess we shouldn't have fought that much. It was your fault, I thought you didn't care."_

"Akihito… Akihito…" Asami gets up and notices the office crumbles, only the sight of Akihito on the floor is left in the dark room. He tries to see anything that might get him out of here but there's nothing.

" _I need you here, I want you to explain what were you thinking, and why you lie_ _d_ _. But, above all, I really want to tell you that I love you."_

"I love you as well," he says with panic inside of him. "Akihito, Akihito please…. Akihito please don't go, don't leave me here." He says when he notices the Akihito on the floor fading; he starts to panic when he is left alone in darkness.

"Please don't leave me, keep talking to me…." He says scared, feeling a fear so big to be left alone. He trembles and cries silently, he can't stop the tears.

"Akihito…"

"Akihito…"

Akihito hears the soft whisper of his name, over and over again. He looks up and notices the hearth rate in the machine is going too fast, he hears Asami calling for him, pleading non-stop for him to not leave him. He runs to the door.

"Kirishima!" he yells when he opens it and immediately there are the couple of nurses and doctors entering the room. They noticed that Asami isnt waking up and his blood pressure is too high.

"Takaba-san please go outside" the doctor pushes him outside of the room and Suoh grabs him.

"No! He wants me there! He is calling for me!" Akihito struggles against Suoh's grip and Kirishima tries to calm him.

"Akihito we need to wait, please stay calm." He says while grabbing the chin of the blonde and looking at him with something he doesn't remember seeing in the perfect secretary... 'fear'.

He calms down and waits, waits for five long minutes until the doctors walked out of the room.

"How is he?" asks Kirishima looking inside of the room.

"He is fine and he is awake," the doctor sighs in relief. "He was having a hard time gathering his thoughts but he is awake and stable, probably a little sedated because we needed to lower his blood pressure but he is conscious. However, I think it would be wise if you speak to him calmly."

He said and Akihito walked through the door without waiting for someone to let him in, the nurses exit the room and they are left alone.

"A-Asami…" he says with relief at seeing those golden eyes looking at him.

"Aki…" he turns his head to the direction of the voice and sees his lover standing there, shocked at seeing him.

"Ryuichi…" Akihito says while walking to the bed, he sits and starts crying. "You're awake finally… Ryuichi…" he cries and kisses Asami's hand.

"I'm … I'm so glad…" says Asami with a rough voice. Akihito looks at him and smiles sadly. He reaches out to touch Asami's face and wipes the beautiful tears. "Are you glad that you woke up? Is that what you are saying?" asks Akihito looking at him with a smile.

"I'm glad…" he takes a deep breath, "that you are here." His tears don't stop falling but his face is serious as always. "That… you didn't leave me…"

"Leave you? I can't do that. I love you too much." Akihito smiles and grabs a tissue, cleaning Asami's face from tears and a little snot. "I would never do that."

"You did," says Asami while taking a deep breath, "you left me and I… I…" another set of tears fall and Akihito's heart clenched seeing such a beautifully sad expression on his lover's face.

"I'm here, I haven't left and I won't. Please look at me," Akihito smiles and places a kiss on his lover's nose. "I don't know what you dreamt of but I'm not going anywhere, not in this life not in any other.

Asami smiles and touches Akihito's lips, Akihito gets closer and he kisses Asami. Another set of tears falls from their eyes.

"Stop crying," Akihito says while kissing a tear off Asami's face. "Your evil smirk is better," Akihito strokes his chin with his fingers, rubbing it softly with admiration. "Thank you for coming back."

Asami looks at him and takes a deep breath. "Thank you for not leaving."

* * *

"You didn't have to do this" says Akihito while watching the scenery before him. A beautiful sunset far away from Tokyo, on an island that reminded him of that time where everything was confusing for him.

"It's been a while since we took a vacation, just the two of us," Asami standing beside him looking at the trail that leads to the beach. They walked side by side to the shore; neither of them seemed to be able to find a proper topic of conversation. However, Akihito knew that everything that happened over the last week, could have probably been the end of everything, something that he never intended to have happen again.

"Your injury is better," says Akihito while sitting in the sand. Asami looks at him and arches an eyebrow, "come on, you can sit on the sand. It won't kill you." He smiles and sees Asami rolling his eyes and sitting nonetheless.

"It's been a few weeks since then," he says and watches Akihito who is looking at him with guilt in his eyes. Asami notices it, of course he does, but he never wanted to see those emotions in his lover's eyes.

"I'm sorry," says Akihito. Asami isn't looking at him anymore instead he watches the sun that seemed to be centimeters from touching the water from this far away.

"I.. I never intended to date her. I did like her but I refused her from the first day." Akihito starts and Asami looks at him this time, not surprised but curious. They never discussed that topic after the accident. "She was what I always wanted, we tried dating a long time ago but it didn't work. My mother insisted that I should meet her," he sighs and scratches at his neck. "I did but I couldn't tell you, I didn't know how you would react."

"You should have," said Asami in a calm voice. "I didn't think that you would take so long to do it. I grew impatient, waiting, but you never said anything." Akihito lowers his gaze to the sand that covered his feet.

"I did refuse her since the first day Asami," he doesn't look at the man beside him and continues, "but she wanted to talk about her life and I kind of remembered her as a friend, as someone that reminded me of many things. Still, I won't lie that I did think of what could have happened if we were together but I couldn't, because at the end, I could only think about you." He sighed and looks at the other side, evading looking into golden eyes.

"It's not an excuse, I still should have said something but I didn't. And for that, I'm sorry."

Asami looked ahead; the sun was already touching the water. "I know you are sorry," he says and grabs Akihito's hand. "I'm sorry as well; I didn't ask and tried to spoil you with everything you wanted. You didn't want to let anyone know about us, and my insecurity showed." He chuckles seeing the guilty in Akihito's face, "but I don't really mind as long as you are willing to stay."

"I still hurt you," said Akihito gripping Asami's hand.

"I did as well; I will always stop you from leaving. Actually, you can't leave." He chuckles when he sees the _'are you serious'_ stare from Akihito's eyes. The smile that the young man showed gave away that hard stare and turned it funny instead, "are you sure you want me to stay? I can blackmail you."

"What do you want then?" says Asami curiously and smirks at the evil smile on Akihito's face.

"I can ask for diamonds," says Akihito getting closer to Asami. "Maybe a car."

"I don't think its possible to make a car out of diamonds," Asami smirks and feels Akihito's light punch to his arm. "You should watch how you speak if you want to blackmail someone like me."

"I don't want anything like that," says Akihito smiling, Asami looks at the sun again and there is a contrast of orange, blue, purple and red in the sky. "Tell me what do you want then, and speak properly this time."

Akihito looks at him and notices that Asami is no longer watching the sun; he gets closer and kisses his lips.

"You need to find out."

* * *

It felt strangely comfortable and natural for them to rush into the bedroom, to shut the door loudly. The feeling of their breaths mixing together and the smell of their bodies making it a natural aphrodisiac for them.

His lovers hand touched his arm with anticipation, their mouths never separating for a second. The clashes of teeth and tongues were the best feeling at that moment; making it harder to walk to the bed where they were sure it would get dirty with their love making. Asami's hands never left the body he lusted after all the time, grabbing those slender hips and manly body that only makes him wish for more. A never ending want.

"Ryuichi" says Akihito between gasps, he can't wait to touch and kiss the strong body that belongs to him. One that he could have lost the warmth of but for a few inches, when someone dared to put a bullet through the strong beating heart inside. It made his chest ache, his eyes wet with tears again; he just couldn't stand the thought.

Akihito takes Asami's hand and looks him in the eyes; he makes him sit on the edge of the bed and watches him from where he is standing. Asami is observing him with confusion and worry, Akihito's eyes were filled with so many emotions that he was unable to see clearly.

"I can't believe," he started and touched Asami's shoulder. "That you could have been gone in a few seconds." He says and his eyes get teary, "I can't believe that I would have never been able to touch you like this again." He smiles sadly and reaches for the buttons on Asami's white shirt. Asami listens to the raw honesty in his lover's voice, his eyes are speaking more than usual.

Akihito looks at him, Asami only stares at his face, now the strong scarred chest is in sight. He touches the neckline, Asami has his eyes half closed at the warm fingers that touch his skin, "I can't believe that the last time I talked to you I was thinking that you didn't care anymore."

A tear falls but Akihito looks calmly at Asami's face, he reaches and places his hand onto his right cheek and rubs it softly with his thumb. The strong jaw line and golden eyes seemed tense, but at the same time taking all the time in the world to look deep into Akihito's eyes.

"I felt so much fear," he says while kissing the forehead of his lover, then reaching for his nose and his temple, his cheeks and lips. "I felt so much fear at the thought of losing you." He shakes his head and Asami's face is wet with a few his lover's tears.

Asami stood up and with both hands cupped Akihito's face kissing his lips tenderly, softly and taking all the time in the world to think about the soft lips and strong heartbeat that he heard and touched. He smiles at the feeling, at the emotions, at the security he feels knowing that he won't be alone.

He takes off Akihito's white shirt and throws it to the floor; he reaches for the button of his jeans and pulled them to the ground. He smiles when Akihito moans while he kisses his neck, trailing more down while he gets to his knees and kisses the abdomen and small nipples of his lover.

Akihito sits on the bed and looks at him taking off his jeans, Asami never takes his eyes off of his and smirks when the blonde blushes at the hard gaze. But this time it all felt too different, and it was definitely new to them. It wasn't as rushed as it usually is, it was with patience as if they had all the time in the world to just look at each other getting naked and loving the peace that silence can offer.

Asami hovers over Akihito's form and kisses his lips gently, Asami strokes his stomach and kisses his jaw, his neck, then kisses the right nipple of his lover. He glides his mouth over it, they are hard in an instant, he kisses it and nips at it while Akihito moans at the feeling.

"Don't hold them" says Asami when he notices that Akihito is covering his mouth.

He grasps the hard erection with his hand and strokes it, earning a muffled moan again. He leaves a trail of kisses down the abdomen until his lips touch the band of his boxers. He sees the wet patch on the dark cloth and smirks while kissing the hard bulge. Akihito couldn't take it any longer being the only one that was slowly and pleasurably teased. Asami felt a shiver run through his back when the foot of his lover touches his erection. Akihito smiles cheekily when he sees Asami's eyes closing in pleasure from the friction of his foot on his erection; he kisses Asami's lips and smiles when the older man moans very low.

Asami straightens and places his knees on the bed, he takes off Akihito's underwear as his penis throbs inside of his tight boxers, the sight is too attractive, pulling him closer to the edge mentally and physically, he just can't get enough. Akihito notices that he is being splayed on the bed with his legs slightly open and his penis is leaking drops of pre cum.

Asami moves back and places his feet on the floor, looking at the blonde on the bed waiting for him, or more accurately, he is waiting for Akihito. His lover would say that it's always him taking the lead and bringing both of them to a pleasurable moment, a high feeling of being comfortable between hot panting and sweat, but that was a mistake on Akihito's part, because to Asami it feels as if it's always Akihito taking him to a small heaven. His hand goes to his boxers and pulls it off slowly, not rushed, just the right amount of slow to show his lover the need to feel him soon. It throws him off balance when Akihito gulps at seeing him naked, the next action widening his eyes a little. Akihito doesn't need to say anything and only smiles playfully at him standing closer to the bed, looking at his body while he parts his legs for him, in a show of surrender to the one he wants.

Asami can only stare in fascination at the silent command, as if he was being captivated and blind to everything but Akihito.

"What's wrong?" asks Akihito when he sees that Asami only looks at him, but he quickly smirks and places one hand on Akihito's left knee.

"You look too delectable," he says, _'just like the first time I met you.'_

Akihito blushes but smiles when Asami kisses his knee while closing his eyes, he feels a big strong hand touching his inner thigh, Akihito bites his lip in anticipation. "And you look like you are taking your time," he says seriously trying to read the expressions on the older man.

Asami smirks and looks him in the eyes, Akihito shivers and waits. _'That is the look that I was hoping for,'_ he thought but he wasn't expecting the hot mouth engulfing his cock so fast and so unusually deep. "Ah, Ah… no, wait," said Akihito trying not to cum but Asami makes it almost impossible when he takes him deeper, caressing the head of his dick with his tongue and squeezing it with his lips before taking all the length inside again.

Akihito closes his eyes just savoring the moment because it might be over sooner rather than later, he isn't good at receiving blow jobs and much less so when Asami starts to touch his nipples. He feels Asami pulling his dick up a little and starts to suck the sack beneath, he moans when he feels Asami's hand stroking him while the other grabbed his waist strangely hard. He was about to ask him to stop when his eyes widen and a loud long moan filled the room.

' _W-What is he doing!?'_ he thinks while the small wet member starts licking at his entrance. His hands grab the sheets while his back arches a little at the tongue entering him, it makes Akihito moan loudly and there is a large trail of pre cum covering his stomach. He feels himself tightening around the tongue and he closes his eyes when Asami enters a finger.

"Oh god… Ryuichi, d-don't..."

Asami looks at him and strokes his penis while staring at Akihito's face, "why? You like it." He resumes licking inside of his lover and enters another finger, earning a loud moan from Akihito at the intrusion. _'It doesn't even feel awkward anymore... It feels too good.'_

"Ah… Ryuichi stop…" he says as Asami is pushing his fingers inside, scissoring inside of his lover and kissing his thigh, he bites it which earns a moan and a glare from Akihito. He smirks and resumes licking Akihito's erection, his hands resume bringing pleasure to his lover.

"Stop" says Akihito in a commanding tone, this time Asami looks at him and stops his movements. "L-Let's come together," he says, Asami stares at him in surprise, he didn't have any problem with continuing but if that was what Akihito really wanted then he will comply.

"As you wish" he kisses Akihito's neck and pulls apart his slender legs.

"Pass me the lube, it's under the pillow."

Akihito stares at him in surprise, 'when did he stick the lube under the pillow?' he thinks but obeys nonetheless. He cherishes that small second when Asami is waiting for him do it, the big warm hands of his lover stroking his legs. _'He is_ _being_ _much nicer than any other time…'_ he thought and blushes at the sudden change. In fact, everything felt different.

Akihito decides to open the lid and squeeze the bottle, a trail of lube falls on his hand and he brings it closer to Asami's penis, loving the hot and hard feeling in his hand. He licks his lips and regrets for a second not sucking Asami first, but it didn't matter because he yearned to have him inside. Asami closes his eyes and lets Akihito's hands spread the lube on his cock, his muscles twitch at the kisses that Akihito is giving him on his stomach. He places his hand on Akihito's hair and strokes it gently while he is being massaged by those small hands, wetting kisses onto his skin with low hum in Akihito's voice.

"Come here," says Akihito while resting his back onto the bed, he fingers his ass with one of his hands while the other strokes at his dick, tightening around the head while watching Asami assessing him from head to toe.

"You are truly delicious," says Asami while reaching for a kiss, neither of them cared at all where each other mouths had been, because there was nothing that could stop a kiss. Akihito looks at him and places a hand on his shoulder.

"Put it in Ryuichi," he says whispering in Asami's ear, the older man closes his eyes at the seductive Akihito and presses the head of his cock into his lover's entrance. He pushes in as a low moan is heard from both males, the tightness around Asami's cock was addicting and Akihito felt like he had a fire entering him. The familiar stretch of having Asami inside of him is always a welcome pain, never getting tired of it but instead enjoying it. He moves his hips and places a hand on Asami's back.

"Move" he says in a raspy voice, his penis covered in lube and precum.

Asami grunts at the willing Akihito under him, it feels like so long ago yet still exciting at the same time, just like when they first started to have sex. The same scent of their sweat, the same eyes looking at him and the rhythm of their hearts where nothing gave away their urges and lust for each other.

There was an odd feeling about all this, there was something different inside of him that couldn't comprehend something that now he can see, something that he can feel and cherish. He thrusts inside of Akihito and he moans beside his ear, their bodies are covered in sweat, a sweet movement and rattle of the bed meets their pants and stares. He can't just get enough of it, get enough of the sight and not just this one in particular, there are even more moments when the sight of a smiling Akihito, when he is cooking in that childish apron, the pout he makes when he gets angry, or even the times when he curses to him in a sudden anger. He didn't notice before how he could miss all of those pictures, and he was in every of them.

"Faster!" says Akihito while scratching the back of Asami's, he grunts in pain but with a strong mix of pleasure. "Ryuichi so good…" Akihito is panting harder and he is no different, he is pretty sure that he is even moaning at this moment. He doesn't want to close his eyes but he does anyway, enjoying the high that their bodies colliding brings him, it's never enough, with Akihito nothing is ever enough, he always needs more and no one but him can give it.

"Akihito," he says in a ragged voice, his hands gripping tighter the waist of Akihito, but he decides to go for his hands, he grabs them and locks their fingers together, gripping the smaller hands and moaning when Akihito squeezes him tighter. "Akihito you…" he says with his eyes closed, it doesn't even feel like he is talking anymore, "are so good to me." The bed is now bumping against the wall with the force of his thrusts, his eyes are still closed and he feels in a total bliss, his hair is moving up and down and his sweat is mixed with Akihito's. "You are mine." Their moans now are getting louder and Akihito feels closer to come, the hot feeling of their bodies so close to each other is too much to bear. "Akihito, Akihito," he says while kissing the lips of the blonde, he still has his eyes closed but can't open them, it all felt so good to open them now, it wasn't the time yet.

Asami doesn't know but Akihito has never closed his eyes, he is looking at Asami with total admiration and love, sweet words that he is aware that Asami might not be thinking in the moment, however, he is guarding them inside of his mind. It all feels so unreal and at the same time as if it were always there, but blind to them.

"Come Ryuichi," says Akihito, "P-Please now, ah!" he touches his penis and strokes it faster. Asami is thrusting inside of him faster and gripping his hand equally hard. He opens his eyes in just the right time, a sight he never gets tired of. Akihito pulls Asami's neck down and kisses him in a sloppy kiss, not caring if their teeth clashed or if they hurt each other in the process, it all felt amazing in the moment.

He notices the squeeze surrounding his member and he sighs when he comes inside, Akihito feels himself getting full with the hot liquid. None of them move from their positions, Akihito is hugging Asami with his two hands; his lover is hugging him with his face hidden in the neck of the blonde. He slides off from Akihito and rest beside him.

Asami lifts his head and Akihito's head lolled to the side; he smiles and strokes Asami's hair. The older man closes his eyes for a second and moves to kiss the blonde, a gentle kiss with warm lips, their sweat evident in their bodies and the cum covering their stomachs and thighs felt incredible comfortable.

"Ryuichi," says Akihito with Asami resting beside him, "I know what I want now."

Asami looks at him and strokes his cheek, he presses on the lips with his thumb, "tell me and you will have it. As long it's not leaving me."

Akihito smiles and turns to see him face to face, "I want us to never grow cold," he grabs the hand of Asami that is resting on his cheek and presses a kiss to it, "A treasure that I can look upon it with you," he kisses another finger of Asami, "a harbor in the tempest," he gets closer and kisses Asami's lips.

"If you can give me all of that, then I can give you want as well. Anything."

"All I want is you," says Asami while pinching the nose of the blonde, he smirks at seeing the stare that Akihito threw at him, he blushes the strongest shade of red and smirks evilly.

"From now until the grave?" He asks and Asami looks at him surprised for a second, _'grave?'_ he thoughts and remembers that time when Akihito fainted and remained unmoving in his arms, but still, he never left.

"Yes," he says and brings him closer to his chest.

"Then I think I can do that," he says while resting his head on the strong chest. "I think I shouldn't give you more pain killers, you get too poetical with me." He chuckles and Asami smacks his naked ass in return.

"Brat"

* * *

A/T: One of my frustrated wishes is to see Asami rimming Akihito. Yeah, a little pervy.

Thank you for reading! Leave a comment sharing your opinions and thoughts, I personally love to read them!


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